Memories from Cousin Harriet

Shani,

Her name evokes a special feeling for me because her persona was pure “chein”, no pretense, no anger, just pure sweetness and an indomitable spirit. I can’t believe she is gone from this world at the young age of 57. She had so much more to live for, so much nachas yet to enjoy.

Shani had a very hard 20 years in terms of health. She was in and out of hospitals and doctors' offices. She was totally fluent in all the nuances of her illness, bright and capable, not squeamish, even when it came to putting in her own PICC line. She “rolled with the punches” so to speak even though the punches were too numerous to count. She seemed to accept her lot and never ever complained. I never saw her without a smile, even if she was uncomfortable and in pain. She made light of her troubles and always asked how I was doing. I loved going there for my weekly Shabbos visits. We had good “heartzig” talks and shared our feelings openly. She was easygoing and very welcoming to whoever came to visit and people were drawn to her. She had numerous friends and was a gracious hostess. Everything was “no big deal”.

Although we were first cousins, our friendship really coalesced when we went on a cruise together in 2007. After one particularly grueling and bumpy ride in a jeep, where she and I laughed throughout while others complained, I told her that I had a newfound respect for her. She never got upset, just treated every complaint with a smile and total equanimity. She and Mendy had a special relationship. There was great love evident to all. She took care of him and catered to every whim. He fought to protect her with all of his might and considerable knowledge. Theirs was a very strong bond, and a very special relationship. 

Shani and Mendy in Portofino, Italy

Shani was inspirational in every way. She was always well dressed – hat and scarf to match . During our Pesach vacations in the Nevele, Shani came down every day in a beautiful outfit, nothing ostentatious but always refined and elegant and perfectly coordinated. Our cousins, Resa and Ellen. and I marveled at how she put it all together with ease.

Yet it was Shani’s smile and even temperament that made her beloved to all. Her composure, friendliness, and acceptance of everyone and everything that came her way, made her a truly exceptional human being and a sought after “close” friend.

I loved watching “Savti” enjoy her nachas as her grandchildren gathered around her. Those were great moments of joy for her. Her extremely close connection with her children Elie, Zahava and David was to be admired. I must say, I pushed her to move here to be with them and we often discussed what a good move it was indeed. Their spouses Aliza, Hindy and Marc add so much to the family dynamic and she often told me how much she treasured them and how lucky she was.

There is a “hole in my heart” and a void in my life. I feel blessed to be among the hundreds she was “close to”.

- Harriet Keilson

Shani, when I first met her, with Mendy.